Kerana hari ini lebih baik dari semalam..

Assalamualaikum…

It has been so long I did upload any entry. Today I’d like invite everyone to this talk. Have fun.

Maidstone Mosque,
36 Studley St, (off Balarat Road)
Maidstone, Footscray 

Happy Marriages. 

"When people asking u question, the first thing u should do is saying, Thank you for asking my religion", Yusuf Estes. For 2 days, he was on trip to Melbourne to give talks, I was very impressed to go. He was very very good. From priest becoming Islam, and make dakwah throughout the world, he really holds the faith tightly.

When I saw him on youtube, he was amusing, always putting jokes when talking. But among all of the advise he gave, I remember this saying as the best. "If you can be nice, then be fair". It’s true. Not ALL people can be nice to ALL people. Some people be nice towards their allies. But this saying really have deep impact on me. Aha..now I must learn how to be fair witout neglecting how to be nice.

At first, I hesitated about going to the talks because they were held for 2 days at Copland Theatre on weekends, Saturday and Sunday. But my papers were on Tuesday, Organic Chemistry and Wednesday, Quantum Mechanics.

Maka melangkahlah aku dengan berat hati kerna aku sangat yakin pada Hikmah Tuhanku.

Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu; Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.          Baqarah 2:216

Terima kasih Yusuf Estes kerna sudi meluangkan masa utk kami di sini.

I was very shocked when reading entry at Not Even Wrong blog. It mentioned there string theory is no longer a candidate for finding Grand Unification Theory. Come on, what’s wrong with it? They are many possible ways to solve this mystery. First, solve General Relativity again. Second, modify General Relativity by manipulating the limits. I mean, we should deal with infinity and see where it converges. But what happen if we get 3 different solutions? Aha..this time we ought to compare with the experimental data.

During 1900 to 1950’s, scientist particularly physicists worked very hard to solve the greatest mystery in universe. They are no absolute references except for one, The Final Revelation; Qur’an. Of course atheist and Jewish physicists don’t like it. The collected data show the universe should be expanding to infinity. Based on 2nd law thermodynamics, the entropy of universe tends to increase until it reaches the maximum multiplicity, that is what Stephen Hawking proposed. Muslim know eventually the universe will vanish. But when it happens no one knows except God. In fact, Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle prevent us from knowing the future too.

Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle

dx dp > h/4pi

We cannot know the future because we cannot the present. Why? Because the initial states are not known. But there will be at some point where the law of physics break down. Perhaps at the point of singularity. Such point might contain black holes, where it sucks all matter and EM waves. Opss..here matterwaves should be the correct term.

It remains paradox and mystery, because we can’t unify quantum mechanics and quantum gravity yet. It was not like Maxwell did, unify electric and magnetism. It we could, then we are done. I still think there is a way to sneak out the fate of universe. Don’t care about the time when it vanishes or how it vanishes because it is God’s job. DON’T INTERFERE, Allah knows the best. Leave everything to Allah. Just pay attention of showing that it will vanish. We since know how it was created.

General Relativity still remains a question.I think it’s rubbish. Hawking’s law of black hole thermodynamics is ambiguous because it will create another universe called Hawking’s universe. Of course Stephen Hawking can’t create the universe, it’s just the name given. Only God can create everything He wants. Kun faya kun.

Einstein was wrong when he thought universe was infinite. Indeed, universe is finite but limitless. Up there, the cosmos is so vast that the light takes millions of light years to approach us. When u look at the sky, particularly aiming the stars, u’re looking back in the past. It’s so wonderful that light can contain such information. This leads to quantum communication which Jeff McCalumn works on.

Every night I look at the sky, I say, this is too beautiful. Allah Must Be The Most Wise. Subhanallah. Every single photon that reaches my cornea, it tells me the perfectness and the beauty Allah has put in His creation. I think Einstein was wrong in the first place back then in UNITEN, but my lecturer at that time said I’m crazy. “U dream too much”. Of course the string theorist and other physicists will dislike me. But what if I’m holding the truth?

Agak2nya kalau saya apply mathematical analysis near the point of singularity to show that the law of physics don’t apply in other dimension, boleh menang Nobel Prize x? Holding and showing the Truth is most important, because it comes from The Truth Revelation of QUr’an.

Now, I’m holding the Truth. Are u with me? 

This picture looks nice and unique. Credit to the skillful hand of art, Aqmal. I no longer have the watch I wore in the picture. Yet I’m still wondering. Now I wonder why Aqmal still keeps my picture. At that time I was wondering where I should go, Melbourne, Monash, Queensland or…?

Now I wonder again. Wouldn’t that ambigous? People have been asking me about my future. What I’m going to do aftergraduating; marriage, getting PhD or what. Hm.. It seems I could not impede their curiosity. Let me tell you the story. It might be rubbish, or might be motivating to some people.

Now I’m 20 yrs old, approaching 21 actually if u know how to deal with the limit. Another 2 yrs, I’ll be graduating from Melbourne Univ with B.Sc. in Chemistry, at 23 yrs old. Then I’ll do KPLI for 1 years, and proceed to teaching at secondary school for 8 yrs. But hold on, MOE said if I wanna pursue studies to post-grad, then I have to serve for 3 yrs, by then I’m at 27.

Aha..the clock is ticking. To some people it’s very long time. But what if I apply special relativity here, because the time is relative. To me, 4 years is just like 4 months. It’s very fast, provided u must move near the speed of light. Sorry, I got carried away.

At 27, I start applying for PhD or Masters at least. Another 4 years, I’ll complete my PhD; still at the age of work, 32. Opss, hopefully I can do my PhD in Germany, ETH (polytechnique institute) Zurich, or Max-Planck Institute or Univ of Munich. I’ve been looking for post grad subjects there very often. But if the policy changes, I might finish PhD at 35. Then back to Malaysia, I want to fill vacancies at USM or UKM.

Aha..now I’m really secured. I got a PhD, job, perhaps a home by then; I’m sick of being homeless, Lutfi knows how it feels. Now I can start thinking about marriage. Stil thinking who should I marry later. Aha..dah boleh kawin. But recapp, it takes time to plan everything. Menjelaskan fikrah suami isteri. At least I can safely get married at 40 yrs old. 

Umur 40 baru boleh kawin. Lagi 20 tahun tuh. Sekarang baru 21. Tak payah fikir lagi. Now let’s turn my attention to general relavity and cosmos. How would you solve this perplexing and paradox problems when string theory is no longer a candidate for GUT/TOE (Grand Unification Theory/ Theory of Everything).

Sementara masih ada masa sebelum umur 40, sebelum dapat kawin dgn selamat, mari bekerja keras. I’m at the age of work. Selesaikan satu-satu dulu. Selesaikan degree, PhD, grand unification thoery, quantum mechanics and quantum gravity, then kawin lah.

Aha…I can’t wait to win Nobel Prize. See Aqmal, how dedicated I’m. Now it’s time to put my hand on my head again, start wondering where the missing pieces of of universe is. Of course theoretical physicist don’t like it.

Ketahuilah ~ Wahai saudaraku yg sgt berminat dan mempunyai perhatian dlm mencari ilmu, yg telah menunjukkan cita-cita yg tinggi dan rasa yg sgt dahaga terhadap ilmu pengetahuan ~ seandainya engkau berniat dgn mencari ilmu ini utk berlumba-lumba dan mendapatkan kemegahan dan terkemuka di kalangan kawan2 dan utk menarik perhatian org ramai terhadap dirimu dan menghimpunkan akan kekayaan dunia, maka sebenarnya engkau telah berusaha menghancurkan agamamu dan membinasakan dirimu sendiri dan menjual akhiratmu utk mendapatkan harta dunia, maka penjualanmu adalah rugi dan perniagaanmu porak peranda dan guru yg mengajarmu adalah dikira menolongmu dlm membuat maksiat dan dia juga akan merasakan kerugian. Ketika ini guru yg mengajarmu itu laksana seorang yg menjual pedang kepada perompak.

Dan jikalau niatmu dlm mencari ilmu itu utk mencari keredhaan Allah dan mencari hidayah, bukan semata-mata utk pandai bercakap maka hendaklah engkau bergembira kerana para malaikat sedang mendoakan utkmu. Tetapi sebelum itu hendaklah engkau ketahui bahawa hidayah itu adalah buah daripada ilmu dan bagi hidayah itu ada bidayah(permulaan) dan ada pula nidayah(kesudahan). Semulia-mulia pengakhiran adalah husnul khatimah.

Semalam dapat 1 msg dari mak, sungguh terharu. Tatkala airmataku hampir bercucuran, berkilau bak harapan seorang emak kepada anaknya. Ketika kesunyian, ketika kesusahan, harapan disandar pada Tuhan yg Esa, Yg memiliki Arasy yg Agung, Pemilik langit dan bumi serta apa yg ada antara keduanya.

Sms emak ; Mak hari2 doa anak-anak mak berjaya dunia akhirat. 

Tatkala kerunsingan dan tekanan memuncak, Khutbah Jumaat semalam menyedarkan aku bahawa masih ada lagi The Most Anxious Day, hari ketika perhitungan dilakukan di Padang Masyhar. Betapa gelisahnya manusia, ada yg berpeluh hingga ke leher dan ada yg paras lutut. Seolah-olah aku kembali tersedar, dunia ini hanya persinggahan, yg sementara. Mengapa perlu gusar utk final exams? Bukankah kegusaran terbesar hanya berhak di Padang Masyhar?

Saat ini, aku kembali berkali-kali muhasabah nasihat ayahandaku, Imam al-Ghazali. 

Selamat menghadapi imtihan utk saudara2ku 

Alhamdulillah, the semester will be coming to the end very shortly. And the final exams will be officially start on Tuesday I guess. But my first paper will be on Thurdays, 12th June with Analysis in Chemical and Life Sciences as the opening ceremony.

Aha.. This semester will perhaps be the most exciting and joyful semester I’ve ever had. Full of enjoyment, wits, relaxations, orderly management and less lagha. That is what I’m hoping for.

So, as usual I’m very proud to present the award "Figure of Excellence" for this semester. Not suprisingly this award goes to Jeffrey McCallum, the lecturer for Quantum Mechanics and Thermal Physics for his dedication, contribution and passion towards physics and the students.

Dedication    : 90%
Avalaibility    : 85%
Rapport        : 90%
Teaching      : 96%
Tutoring       : 82%
Attendance   : 90%
Assessment   : 80%
Wits             : 85%
Knowledge    : 90%

Overall   : 88, H1 @ A1

Although he gave me very hard time with thermal physics and entropy, but the latter came with explicit explanations, giving all the physical descriptions behind the beauty of the mathematical operations. Jeff overtakes other and being comfortably ahead. The rest are still competetive such as;

1) Jonathan White, Organic Chemistry Lecturer - 75%
2) Utta Wille, Organic Chemistry lecturer          - 78%
3) Spencer Williams, Analytical Chemistry lecturer - 70%
4) Richard Brak, vector calculus lecturer          - 80%
5) Prof Separovic, Analytical Chemistry lecturer  - 62%

This assessment provides little description of how an excellence lecturer/teacher should be. Aha..U’re the best among the best physics lecturer I’ve ever met. Much better than Mr Joe. This awards definitely goes to you. Congrates.

Now I’m thinking of doing minor in Quantum Mechanics, hope to see Jeff next year.

Last year awards went to Marty Ross, tutor for  610-123 Applied Maths Advanced. Next semester I think Marty Ross will grab the awards again since he’ll be tutoring me analysis.

Isn’t Jeff look smart? He’s genius, beautiful mind.

This morning I had an appointment with Marty Ross at coffee house on Lygon St near Elgin St. I waited for him before 10am in front of room 2.02 Physics Podium until he finished his tutes. Unfortunately, some people from his tutes kept asking question till 10.30am. I patiently waited.

Then we walked to the coffee house and start working on problem sheets and past exams paper. While discussing, Marty asked what course I’m doing. I said Sciences. Again he asked, which vector analysis I take, I said normal vector analysis, not advanced. Now he was bit shocked, why dont you take vector analysis advanced? I said, I had too much burden on chemistry practical lab, so I dont have much time allocated for maths. "Ridiculous, you’ve made a big mistake. You should have done vector analysis advanced because it gives you much more knowledge.

Now he suggested I should take Analysis : 620-252 in 2nd sem. I want to take Mathematical Methods actually but he began to convince me by providing 4 plausible reasons why I should consider taking Analysis rather than Mathemactical Method. Aha..here are the reasons

1. Many applied mathematicians are really bad at analysis. From Marty’s point of view, Analysis provide very strong background for further maths. Indeed, even though u’ve graduated from university, there are millions of thoeries you haven’t lerned while in univ. In fact, this is the most enjoyable subject during undergraduate.
2. Analysis itself is very very very powerful theory for self-learning.(sejak bila Marty tahu aku beruzlah?). May be I ask always for Marty’s help via email, he knows that I’m alone working very hard.
3. The lecturer for Analysis is much better that Mathematical Methods. I check at MS website, but still confuse whether the lecturer is Paul Pearce or Dave. Hopefully Dave, not Paul Pearce because I once had Paul Pearce as my Maths A advanced in sem 1 first year.
4. I’ll get Marty as tutor. Marty wants me because I’m very hardworking. I want Marty too because he is very good at giving explicit explanation.

Aha..the 4th reason seems to attracks me so much. Even though I still think Maths Method is the best for me, but I still keep Analysis in my mind. It has been almost one year I become friend to Marty. It started last year when I was in his practical class, Applied Maths advanced. We keep in touch with each other via email. From tutor, becomes my personal lecturer then becomes my friend. Thanks Marty, you’re so helpful and benevolent. Thanks for being my friend too. Now, I’m very close to solve problems in quantum mechanics and general relativity. Together we will win Nobel Prize, Insya Allah one day.

Alhamdulillah, hari ini hujan dari pagi hingga ke tengah hari. Boleh saja aku berehat di rumah. Match bola dibatalkan. Segala-galanya selamat.

Entah mengapa aku sgt sukakan hujan sejak kanak2 lagi. Malah hobiku juga adalah melihat dari sudut tingkap hujan turun. Hafiz membuka jendela tingkap, hujan turun renyai2. Biasanya aku juga akan membukakan jendela. Tapi kini perasaan itu makin pudar, hilang bersama muhasabah.

Dulu kalau hujan, cepat2 nenek mencari baldi,tong utk mengumpulkan air hujan. Katanya, "air hujan ni bagus,kalau hujan cepat2 la berdoa pada Allah. Selalunya Allah akan makbulkan doa kita." Selain selepas solat, dalam sujud dan antara dua khutbah, waktu paling afdhal berdoa ialah semasa hujan. Tak tahulah sejauh mana kebenarannya. Tapi hujan memang menghambakan aku.

Mungkin juga bertawasul seperti itu dibenarkan. Tapi yg pasti keadaan di kampung yg kekurangan air memaksa penduduk kampung mengumpul air ketika hujan. Kalau sekakat nak berdoa, tak payah guna tong, letak saja cerek/kettle atas tanah. Lepas tu rebus terus air hujan dan baca Yassin. Tapi bukan satu tong kami kumpul, 3,4 tong besar. Macam tangki air dalam rumah teres.

Ketika hujan, inilah yg aku harapkan utk sujud hingga menitiskan air mata pada sejadah seperti mana menitisnya hujan di muka bumi. Di situ lahir suatu pengharapan pada Allah, kebesaran Allah terhadap sesuatu di alam ini. 

Demi langit yg mengandung hujan,
Dan bumi yg mempunyai tumbuh-tumbuhan       at-Tariq  86:11,12

Allah-lah yang telah menciptakan langit dan bumi dan menurunkan air hujan dari langit, kemudian Dia mengeluarkan dengan air hujan itu berbagai buah-buahan menjadi rezki untukmu; dan Dia telah menundukkan bahtera bagimu supaya bahtera itu, berlayar di lautan dengan kehendak-Nya, dan Dia telah menundukkan (pula) bagimu sungai-sungai.     Ibrahim 14:32

Kali ini, gagal sekali aku menitiskan air mata meskipun pakaianku basah merendah hujan menuju ke Brunswick Mosque. Apa kegagalan di situ? Kesempatan ini aku rebut utk muhasabahkan diri beberapa ketika. Teringat pesanan abg Yous, "bila berdoa, kita mesti berdoa utk diri sendiri dulu, kemudian pada ibu bapa dan yg lain. Disitu, kita mengutamakan diri, bukan mementingkan. Biar diri kita rasa diperhambakan, rasa lemah, hanya bergantung pada Allah."

Hari ini semuanya kerja tak jadi. Tidurku begitu lama. Hanya sempat mghabiskan past exams utk Organic Chem, dan memulakan assignment thermal physics yg rumit. Terima kasih pada Hafiz, roomateku yg membantu dlm mengendalikan Microsoft Excel. Sempat juga melakar graf entropy.

Putus asa.

Ibrahim berkata: "Tidak ada orang yang berputus asa dari rahmat Tuhan-nya, kecuali orang-orang yang sesat."   
al-Hijr 15:56.

Dulu aku sgt gemar bermain dlm hujan. Tapi kini hujan mengandungi acid, yg dtg dari carbon dioxide, chlorine, dan asap2 kenderaan mencemarkan kesucian hujan. Chlorine yg larut dlm hujan membentuk hidrochloric acid dan hipochlorous acid. Tahukah kamu apakah hipochlorous acid? Ia adalah peluntur yg digunakan dlm detergen (bleaching agent).

Saat ini tenang sekali. Sunyi. Masa yg sgt sesuai utk berkomunikasi bersama Allah. Doa. Pintu langit telah terbuka, maka berdoalah agar hajatku dimakbulkan Allah. Aku bersyukur.

Ku harapkan hujan menjelma,
Kala bumi sedang meminta,
Setitis rahmat dari ar-Rahman,
Sebuah doa aku pulangkan,

Saat kemarau bermukim,
Hujan membawa khabar gembira,
Keluhan manusia tak pernah luput,
Kala hujan diertikan bala,

Setelah hujan, ramai sekali yg kufur

Dan Allah menurunkan dari langit air (hujan) dan dengan air itu dihidupkan-Nya bumi sesudah matinya. Sesungguhnya pada yang demikian itu benar-benar terdapat tanda-tanda (kebesaran Tuhan) bagi orang-orang yang mendengarkan (pelajaran).      an-Nahl 16:65

Menelaah dlm hujan memberikan ketenangan, muhasabah semasa hujan begitu mendamaikan. Terasa diri ini memang diperhambakan.

"membebaskan diri dari sebarang perhambaan kepada perhambaan kepada Allah", Sayyib Qutb. 

Bila lagi nak hujan? 

Bismillahirrahman nirrahim.. Segala puji hanyalah utk Allah, Tuhan Sekalian Alam, Tuhan yg Esa, Pemerintah mutlak ke atas setiap sesuatu ciptaannya. Alhamdulillah, aku masih lagi diberi peluang utk meneruskan perjalanan, mengharungi kehidupan yg semakin mencabar dari hari ke hari. Aha..hari ini Hari Guru, hari di mana guru-guru di Malaysia dirai kerana perngorbanan mereka mendidik anak bangsa hingga ke menara gading. Bahkan, ada anak murid yg bakal menyelusuri laluan berliku guru mereka.

Pada kesempatan ini, aku ingin mengucapkan jutaan terima kasih kepada guru2 di SMKTT dan juga pensyarah di UNITEN. Peluh dan keringat mereka mendidikku berbaloi kerna kau sekarang sedang melanjutkan pelajaran di luar negara dan bakal pulang sebagai seorang guru.

Imtihan

Hanya tinggal 3 minggu lagi sebelum imtihan terakhir utk semester 1 tahun kedua. Setelah sekian lama menghadapi imtihan, dari sekolah rendah hinggalah menengah sampai ke universiti, aku dpt rasakan keseimbangan dalam setiap imtihan. Dulu aku lemah berbahasa Inggeris, sekarang sudah mampu membaca artikel2 tanpa merujuk kamus malah mampu juga menerangkan kepada non-native English speakers.

Entah mengapa sejak memasuki universiti, imtihannya sgt berbeza. Ada yg susah, ada yg senang dan ada juga yg terlalu senang sehingga melampaui keyakinan aku. Namun semuanya bergantung kepada Allah, kerna Allah adalah Sebaik-baik Perancang. Imtihan di universiti menghimpunkan gugusan2 ilmu dari tahun pertama hingga tahun terakhir. Apatah lagi bila memasuki Honours Year. Ilmu dan pengetahuan yg telah dipelajari perlu di aplikasikan secara praktikal dan industrial. Bukan hanya menghafal soalan dan jawapan. Copy and paste. Hafal jawapan dari buku rujukan, kemudian pindahkan ke atas kertas peperiksaan, insya Allah akan dpt A.

Aha..di sini tak begitu. Sistem pendidikan di Australia merangsang pemikiran kritikal pelajar; bagaimana mereka menganalisis permasalahan, menyediakan proposal utk kaedah penyelesaian dan mencari penyelesaian terbaik.

Penat menulis, harus menghabiskan sisa2 bacaan Chemical Analysis utk kertas ujian pertama pada 12 Jun.

Selamat berimtihan, Ingatlah Tuhan

Alhamdulliah, masa yg tak di sia-siakan selama beberapa jam dari pukul 8:00pm hinggalah 10:50pm.  Mungkin sebab terlalu byk di pengaruhi oleh Michael Faraday, yg membiasakan diri utk mencatat segala butir2 dlm kuliah yg di hadirinya, saya turut terkesan dgn semangat beliau. Daripada seorang budak yg tak pernah bersekolah hinggalah menjadi Professor of Chemistry di Royal Institute of Great Britain. Walhal, Imam Abu Hanifah mempraktikkannya terlebih dulu. Beliau di kenali dgn nama Hanifah kerna sering membawa tintanya ke mana saja. Terasa ingin mewarisi sifat2 Abu Hanifah. Aha..saya bukannya ingin menukar ke mazhab hanafi. Tak mengapalah, saya hadiahkan Coretan Dari Constantinople utk sabahat2 dan teman2 saya yg tak bisa hadir tadi utk kuliah Conquest of Constantinople.Hayatilah

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Tamatlah sudah kisah perjuangan Sultan Muhammad Al Fatih dalam usahanya menawan Constantinople.